The last two mornings, I woke up early. Instead of lying in bed, I got myself up and went on a little walk.
Yesterday, I stayed in the neighborhood where I live. As I walked, I remembered when I was younger and my mom would wake me up early to go walking with her.
I was a fat kid, and my mom was doing what she knew how to do. She was trying to get me active.
But when I was a kid, that is not how it felt.
I argued. I complained. I probably kicked and screamed a little.
But I did it.
I remember we lived on Kinson Street. We would take a right onto Thorp Spring Road and walk what felt like forever. We would walk all the way to the library, then turn around and walk back.
About halfway in, I usually stopped complaining because she was not giving in.
We were walking.
When we finally got home from our journey across the land, I remember we would sit together.
But more than that, I remembered how she smelled on those walks.
The smell of sweat from keeping stride, mixed with outside air and her mom smell. That sounds weird, but it was sweat, sweet, and outdoors all wrapped into one.
I didn’t realize how much I loved that smell until I went on my walk yesterday and remembered it.
Suddenly, those walks didn’t feel like punishment for being a fat kid anymore.
They felt like purpose.
The purpose was relationship.
Had I not had those walks with my mom, I would not have had that time with her. She got sick when I was around 13 or 14 and passed away when I had just turned 16.
How many miles did we walk together?
Me complaining.
Her talking about life.
How many moments did we spend together not knowing those were moments I would one day treasure?
I couldn’t understand that until now.
Until I realized every action has a reaction, and sometimes it is our mindset that determines whether we see something as purpose or punishment.
Today, I took a different path.
I decided to walk to the park near me. I listened to worship music on the way and felt the Spirit.
I saw bunnies playing along my path. Birds chasing each other. Little insects just doing insect things.
I made it to the pond where I like to sit and read. There is a swing there, so I sat down, took out my earphones, and admired all the things God has created.
The sun was coming up, turning the sky from dark to light with pink hues just above the trees.
The trees stood tall and mighty.
The flowers looked small and beautiful beside them.
The clouds were pillowy one minute and flowing the next.
People talk about living in a matrix, a made-up world, like we are experiments in some Truman Show reality.
But I wonder if those people ever stop and really look at what God created.
The trees give us air.
The plants give us pollen.
The bees give us honey.
The birds spread seeds.
Everything has a purpose.
The question is whether we want to see that purpose.
God created each of us with purpose too.
Yes, lessons are needed. That is what a loving parent does. A loving parent teaches, guides, and corrects.
But God also gave us free will.
We get to decide how we see the experiences in our lives.
We can choose to see them as punishment, unfair burdens, and obstacles.
Or we can choose to see them as opportunities to grow, learn, love, heal, and discover our purpose.
The trees have a purpose.
The bees have a purpose.
The flowers have a purpose.
And so do we.
Looking back, I realize those walks with my mom were never punishment.
I made them punishment in my mind because I didn’t understand their purpose.
Maybe that’s true for more of our lives than we realize.
The walk itself never changed.
What changed was my understanding of it.
Maybe the question isn’t whether life is punishing us.
Maybe the question is:
Are we willing to walk far enough to discover the purpose?